Can Ghosts Be Clumsy?
by MakaS0ul
Summary: Yang has become a ghost, which is fine until the house she's stuck in goes up for sale. She quickly finds out that she can affect furniture and other objects left in the house, much to her dismay. What's she to do when the Schnee family moves in? It'll be a wild ride for both the living and the dead!
1. Not Exactly a Suburban Paradise

**Hello, hello! I decided to write something silly for a change of pace from** _ **sadness and emotion**_ **that I'd been writing lately. Thus, I picked this ridiculous prompt and ran with it. Hopefully y'all'll enjoy!**

 _ **Prompt: You are ghost trying their best NOT to be scary while trapped in a subburban home. You are horribly clumbsy though and the family is starting to notice the things you knock over and the "ooooooOOOOuu's" in the night as you stub your toes again and again**_

* * *

Yang couldn't really remember when she died, nor could she remember the moment she became a ghost. It didn't bother her per se, but she was curious. Who wouldn't want to know how they died?

Her death was one of the many things she pondered as she floated about an empty house. It looked like she was smack in the middle of suburbia from what she could see out the windows, and all of the hardwood floors and spacious rooms indicated it was a rather high-end house. She was sure the place hadn't been her house before she died; her family wasn't poor, but they definitely couldn't afford to live in a house this unnecessarily large. How she ended up haunting the place, she'd likely never know.

She tried to figure out how many days passed with her floating around the house aimlessly, but without clocks and the lack of a need to sleep, the days seemed to blend together.

It wasn't until what she could assume was weeks later that a woman in a crisp business suit came into the house, a clipboard in hand and a few men in tow. From the way she'd point into the various rooms and occasionally scribble things down onto a notepad, Yang could only assume she was a realtor or something of the like.

Her suspicions were confirmed days later when a truck appeared outside, the back stuffed with furniture, plants, and every other knick-knack needed to stage a house for selling.

Furniture was something that Yang hadn't initially worried about when she had floated through the empty house, but to her surprise –and horror—her incorporeal form was able to _affect_ objects around her.

In other words, she could knock things off the walls or off of tables if she "touched" them.

 _What kind of half-assed ghost am I? That's some serious bullshit._

Yang hadn't noticed it so much when there was nothing to affect, but once all the furniture had gone in, she realized that she had _very_ little control of her flight path. She didn't even have a sense of how it actually worked. She just sort of… _floated_ to wherever she wanted to go. The only problem was that now that there was furniture, her lack of control was _actually a problem._

She'd only found out of her effect on the mortal realm when she'd knocked a lamp off of a table. She had tried to pick it up, but the only thing she could do was roll the thing around uselessly.

Even worse than that, for _some_ reason, she could get _hurt_ by objects that she bumped into.

The walls and such were fine, but Yang suspected that the furniture –which hadn't been there when she turned into a ghost—was able to hurt her because it wasn't specifically tied to the house. As a matter of consequence, her flight path led to many a stubbed toe and bruises.

 _This is the biggest load of bullshit I've ever seen. What kind of a ghost gets_ hurt _?_

When the realtor lady had come the next day, Yang felt a bit guilty as she watched the woman search the house for possible intruders or a stray animal that had somehow gotten inside and knocked the lamp over. She was on the hunt for something she would never find. Of course, when she did indeed fail to find anything, the lamp was replaced and the showings went on as planned.

Family after family came by, and to avoid causing any scares (and damage to herself), Yang had elected to stay in the attic until they all left. It was only long after the sun had set that she was free to float about again, though she tried to be more careful.

* * *

It turned out that Yang simply couldn't be "careful" as a ghost, no matter how much she tried.

She still had little-to-no control over her flight path despite spending many days trying to train herself to fly properly, and of course, that led to more and more objects getting knocked from their places and more and more stubbed toes.

She would have screamed if she hadn't found out early on that any vocalization whatsoever would be transmitted. The unearthly quality that came with her colorful exclamations of pain had nearly scared her to death.

She couldn't help herself from snickering at her own jokes though.

 _Seriously though, if this were a game, I'd be the worst character in it. I wanna have a word with Death or whatever dumbass thought this was a good idea._

Every time the blonde realtor lady with the glasses came in, Yang sent a silent apology her way. She looked like she was getting gray hairs from all the stress.

On a particular day, the woman entered the house, though with a man sporting gray hair and dark glasses in tow.

"I just don't get it, Ozpin," she exclaimed, gesturing at yet another lamp that had been knocked over for the umpteenth time. "Every time I come to this house, there's always something knocked over! I've checked for animals and other pests that could have gotten in and I've checked for signs of entry from everywhere in the house and I _still_ can't figure out why things keep getting knocked over!"

The man, Ozpin apparently, chuckled around a travel mug of what was likely coffee. "Perhaps there's a ghost here, Glynda?"

Glynda frowned sharply. "Please be serious! Ghosts only exist in fiction!"

Yang nearly burst into laughter, but managed to choke it down.

Ozpin seemed to find it just as amusing, if his growing grin was anything to go by. "Now, now! There's no reason to be so upset. Even if there are ghosts, I don't believe we need to make such a fuss over things. If you've determined that there is nothing that could have gotten in and done this, then we must simply chalk this whole thing up to being a series of accidents."

Glynda pinched the bridge of her nose for a moment, seemingly forcing her frustration down with a tired sigh. "If you say so."

"Good. Now please prepare for the next showing. The sooner you sell this house, the sooner your frustrations will disappear," he said with a rather cheshire smile. With a glance up to the attic, he left the house, Glynda hot on his heels.

If Yang hadn't known any better, she would have thought that Ozpin guy knew she was there. But there was no way.

… _Right?_

* * *

It was only a week later that the staging furniture was removed and new, more permanent furniture replaced it. Yang gulped as she watched movers bring in items that looked as if they costed more than what she would have ever made in a full lifetime. Staging furniture was one thing, but _priceless_ antiques and designer furniture were a whole different ball game.

If she could sweat, she would have been.

The day after all the fancy furniture went in, the family of five followed after it, their seemingly-natural white hair standing out like a beacon as they stood in the doorway, assessing their new living situation.

Yang was glad she had elected to stay in the attic for the night. The less opportunities she had to break something, the better.

"It seems the movers didn't break anything," the man observed, his moustache twitching.

"We took quite the risk hiring such low-grade workers," the eldest woman said with a huff, readjusting the furs around her shoulders as she did so.

The man nearly growled. "It was the most cost-effective option, Willow. Do not bring up that which has already been settled."

"That's rich coming from you," the shortest girl in the group whispered, doing little to hide her obvious frustration. She rolled her eyes as she removed her boots and headed up the stairs.

"Where are you going, young lady?" the man barked, redirecting his ire at his daughter.

"To my room."

* * *

Weiss Schnee groaned as she entered her new room, everything already in place. She had been against the idea of moving out to Vale from Atlas, but like every other thing she tried to voice to her parents, her protests were ignored.

She flopped onto the bed, too irritated to enjoy the plush feeling of the comforter. Winter had agreed with her on the issue of moving, but even her opinion hardly mattered when she would be moving into her university dorm within a couple weeks. Of course, Whitley hadn't had a complaint, but he never did when it came to something their parents wanted.

 _Little brat._

She rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling like it would give her all the answers.

Suddenly, something like a figure appeared in her vision. She bolted upright, focusing on the spot with a new intensity.

Obviously, there was nothing there, but for some reason she swore that she had seen something. She decided that her eyes were simply playing tricks on her after a long day, and she left the matter alone, laughing at herself for being so ridiculous.

 _I'm being ridiculous. There's no such things as ghosts._

* * *

Later that night, long after the family had gone to bed, they woke with a start. A crash in one of the rooms had startled them followed by a wail that seemed to almost reverberate throughout the house.

Willow practically threw her husband out of their bedroom before slamming the door behind him. "You take care of it, Jacques!"

Jacques himself pounded at the door. "Let me in! Don't you dare leave me out here to face whatever is in the house, you crazy woman!"

Winter, Weiss, and Whitley stumbled out of their rooms then, the sisters exchanging a tired, irritated look before heading off down the stairs, ignoring Whitley's attempts to coax his father into his room for safety.

Winter grabbed one of the sabers mounted along the wall, leading the way with Weiss trailing along behind her. She'd be damned if she let her little sister face an intruder alone. With that thought, she crept through the house silently, her eyes peeled for any signs of forced entry or a figure still in the house.

The two entered the living room, spotting a lamp knocked from one of the end tables surprisingly intact, the table itself was knocked askew.

Weiss bent down to inspect, not noticing any scuff marks or any other noticeable evidence left behind by the perpetrator. She looked to Winter then, shaking her head silently.

The elder of the two seemed to understand, gesturing for Weiss to follow after her as they resumed their search throughout the house.

After several minutes of searching, nothing turned up. No windows were broken, no sign of the doors ever having been open, nothing was stolen, and everything else was in its place. They could only conclude that nothing had gotten into the house.

"What do you suppose happened?" Weiss asked when they completed their search, understanding it was likely safe to talk again.

Winter hummed, her brow furrowed. "Normally I would say that the lamp simply fell over on accident, but the wailing we heard after that has me baffled. What on earth could have made that sound?"

The younger sister shrugged, looking around the house. "I've never heard anything like it before. It…" she paused, glancing out the window. "It couldn't have been the wind, could it?"

Winter looked out the window as well, shaking her head as the trees remained still in the night. "The weather didn't predict a storm, and there's no wind now. Perhaps it was a neighbor's pet or something."

"Yes, it was most likely a pet. Obviously," she said, latching on to the explanation. Some kind of explanation was better than no explanation, no matter how farfetched it sounded. And it was certainly better than a supernatural one.

 _I really hope this stupid house isn't haunted._

Winter nodded. "Well then, now that the matter is settled, let's head back to bed. We can fix the mess tomorrow."

The trudged up the stairs, the adrenaline leaving their system left them tired as Winter put the saber back in its rightful place. When they reached their rooms, she cleared her throat.

"One of the lamps fell over and the howl that we heard was a neighbor's dog. Everything is fine, so you can all go to sleep."

Jacques left Whitley's room with a growl, reentering his own with a glare aimed directly at his wife. The sisters returned to their rooms far less animatedly, simply bidding each other a quiet "goodnight."

Weiss crawled into her bed and pulled the covers back up to her chin. Her eyes practically bore holes into the ceiling for a moment before she turned onto her side with a frustrated huff.

 _Seriously. There had better not be any damn ghosts in this house._

And with that, she drifted back off to sleep.

* * *

From her spot in the attic, Yang let out a breath, or at least mimed the action since she didn't exactly breathe.

 _That was close. I'm gonna have to be more careful from now on._

* * *

 **I didn't plan to make this a multi-chapter fic, but I realized it's gonna be way too long for a single chapter. In other words, welcome to another one of my stories. I'm going to try to finish up this one relatively quickly. I don't want it to take any time away from any of my other stuff. Also, I'm back in school, so I'm going to try and figure out my update schedule so that I don't get overwhelmed or burnt out. As I promised earlier, AJAR will be resuming at the end of September. Until next time~!**


	2. You Can't Break A Ghost's Legs, Nora

**Happy Halloween, y'all! I mean, for some of you Halloween's already over, but it's still (barely) 10/31 in my timezone so I'm gonna call it good. Should I have gotten this posted earlier in the day? Yes! Did I do that? No! Do I kind of regret it? Yes! But it's too late to fix it. So, thanks for supporting me and enjoy~!**

* * *

Weiss was exhausted in more ways than one. Not only had the move tired her out, but night after night she'd been awakened to a crash of some furniture getting knocked over or these mysterious howls that had become increasingly hard to explain away.

Frankly, she was pissed.

Her father, being the asshole he was, insisted on having her and Winter search for the source of the noise night after night, with no success each time. To say all of them were frustrated was an understatement.

"Why don't you look for it if you think Winter and I are doing such a bad job?" Weiss spat one night, rubbing her temples to ease a headache she had been nursing since her latest rude awakening.

Jacques sputtered, his face turning a cherry red as his mustache twitched furiously. "Because I am your father, and my word is law! If I tell you to search for something, you do it without question!"

Weiss rolled her eyes, her irritation kept in-check by Winter's hand on her shoulder. "Well, like every other night these past several weeks, we didn't find anything. In fact, I would bet we won't find anything tomorrow either, or even the day after that."

"Watch your mouth, young lady," her father growled.

Weiss yawned widely, not bothering to cover it like she had often been scolded to do as a child. "Yes, _Father._ Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to sleep."

She returned to her room, cutting off any potential protests with the slam of her door. She was steadily running out of patience for her father's cowardice and heavy-handed way of dealing with his children, so for him to boss her around when she was already exhausted was pushing the limits of her patience.

Her mother had been little help to her sleeping habits as well, shoving her husband out of their room each night and locking the door until the matter was resolved. And Whitley was always a brat so that only left Winter in her good graces.

What she wouldn't give to be the one heading off to college in a few days.

She was going to miss her sister, but a part of her was incredibly jealous that she'd soon be free of this absolute lunacy. What would it be like to get some peaceful sleep for once? It felt like a lifetime ago that she had last enjoyed the embrace of rest without any rude awakenings.

She climbed back into her bed, pulling the covers back over herself, which had gone cold during her absence.

 _Great._

If they didn't find the source of the problem soon, she swore she would burn the place down.

* * *

Days later, Winter had left for Beacon University with little fanfare, and if Weiss didn't know any better, she could have sworn she saw Winter smirk at her over her new living arrangements. Weiss had to actively remind herself not to throttle the one person in her family she actually liked.

Her restless nights continued, the howls of whatever the hell the source was kept getting louder, and it was becoming noticeable to her friends at school if their worried looks were anything to go by.

"Are you doing alright, Weiss?" Blake asked one lunch period, munching on her tuna sandwich. She had befriended Weiss in thanks to their matching passion towards their shared history and business elective classes. While they didn't always agree, they respected each other greatly, and maintained civil debate whenever they were divided.

"Yeah, you've been looking kinda…" Ruby gestured vaguely, "worn out?" The youngest girl had jumped up two grades thanks to her impressive performance in her math and science classes, and had become friends with Weiss thanks to those very same classes. She apparently had an older sister who helped her to make friends with Blake and the others.

Weiss blinked, breaking her impromptu staring contest with her salad. "Thank you for your concern, but I am perfectly fine," she said, waving away their concerns with what she hoped was a convincing smile.

Blake gave her an unamused look, her amber gaze seemingly more piercing than usual. "You honestly think we believe that? You've looked tired since the first day, but it only seems to be getting worse. The dark circles under your eyes really give it away."

Weiss quickly tried to cover her eyes before realizing how ridiculous she looked. She sighed, the sound dragged out and exhausted even to her own ears. "I haven't been sleeping well lately."

"Is it because of your sister leaving for university?" Ruby asked, sympathy shining in her silver eyes.

The snowy-haired girl shook her head. "No. If anything I'm envious of her leaving."

"Is it the house? Have you had trouble adjusting to the move?" Blake murmured, taking another bite of her sandwich.

Weiss shook her head again, though it was less adamant. "The move hasn't bothered me -it's the house. This is going to sound crazy, but we keep hearing… howling or wails or something in the middle of the night. Things keep getting knocked over too, and my dad makes me search the house every night, but we never _find_ anything."

Both Ruby and Blake were silent for a minute, sharing a concerned glance—

"What if it's a _ghost_?!"

All three girls jumped at Nora's sudden arrival, the latter waggling her fingers in a way that was likely supposed to be spooky.

Ren came up alongside her not long after, shaking his head and sighing. "There's no such things as ghosts, Nora."

The ginger pouted, crossing her arms. "We don't know that for sure! I bet you Weiss's house is haunted!"

Blake snorted. "Doesn't Weiss live in the high-class suburbs around here? What kind of ghost would haunt a brand new house?"

"A ghost with nice taste?" Ruby offered, giggling at the thought of some snooty ghost insisting on haunting only the nicest of places.

The group shared a laugh, minus Weiss who had been oddly quiet since Nora's outburst. They turned their attention to her as she half-heartedly picked at her food.

"Weiss? Do you actually believe there's a ghost haunting your house?" Blake asked carefully, caught off-guard by the lack of Weiss's usual quick retort.

After a long moment, she lifted her gaze from her tray, her eyes wide but bloodshot. "I… It's the only explanation I have. None of our neighbors have dogs and it hasn't been windy, so there's no other explanation for the wails that we keep hearing. And there hasn't been any sign of forced entry, so I can't explain why things keep getting knocked over either."

She rested her face in her hands, her wobbly voice muffled. "I don't know what to do. I'm so _tired._ I just want to sleep."

Her friends exchanged worried glances, unsure of how to help their friend. All except for one person.

"Break its legs!" Nora shouted, punching her fist into the air.

Ren sighed. "Ghosts don't have a physical form, so you can't break their legs, Nora."

"That's true," Nora hummed, tapping a finger to her chin. She wasn't thinking long before a manic grin broke out across her face. "Then capture it and yell at it! You're really good at yelling at people, Weiss! I bet you can scare it into submission!"

Weiss lifted her face from her hands to glare at Nora, before she paused. While she resented Nora for her (arguably true) comment, the idea of capturing the ghost and yelling it into submission did seem appealing. She really wanted to give whatever was making her life hell a piece of her mind.

"You know… for once I agree with you," Weiss said, surprised at her words despite herself. "Maybe I can scare it enough to make it stop bothering me."

Blake blinked. "You're joking, right? Are you _that_ tired? Do you _hear_ yourself?" She shook her head. "There's no way you can talk a ghost into submission. And this whole plan works on the idea that ghosts actually exist."

Ruby raised her hands in a placating gesture, smiling awkwardly. "Well, whether they exist or not, it can't hurt to try." She turned to Weiss. "Why don't you try it tonight? The sooner you find the source, the sooner you can put a stop to it and get some sleep."

Weiss nodded, her look of grim determination accentuated by her haggard state.

 _You better be ready, ghost. Your reign of terror ends tonight._

* * *

It was midnight and Weiss had yet to hear anything. She had gotten ready for bed as usual, but she simply feigned sleep throughout the night, waiting for whatever apparition or spirit or whatever was ruining her chances at beauty sleep.

A small part of her hoped that tonight would be the one night nothing happened so she could get some actual sleep, but she knew that the pattern was likely to continue, and hoping for otherwise would be stupid.

She had almost given up, her eyelids drooping and her consciousness waning when she heard the crash of a lamp hitting the floor.

In record time, she threw off the covers and bolted out of her room, practically leaping down the stairs and sprinting to the living room.

For a moment, she saw nothing, the room bathed in darkness with splashes of moonlight serving as her only light. She heard nothing either, save for her labored breathing after her award-worthy sprint, but she continued to stare, her eyes and ears on high alert.

Then, behind the couch, she saw… something. Something that didn't look… of this world. She could see a faint outline of matter of some kind, though it was semi-transparent, giving the wall behind it a muted look.

Weiss crept forward, her eyes locked on the… something, like a hawk watching its prey. When only a foot separated her and the… thing, she cleared her throat.

The thing seemed to jump, seemingly startled by the sound of Weiss being so close, before slowly turning its head, the face of a young woman on the being startling Weiss herself.

The being rose, revealing a tall, well-endowed woman dressed in leather biker gear, her wild, seemingly blonde hair cascading down to her waist. What surprised Weiss most of all was the being's eyes, a purple color that reminded her of amethysts.

Weiss swallowed. There was no way she was attracted to a ghost girl.

…

…Ghost girl…

…Wait.

" _YOU!"_

* * *

 **Kind of an abrupt end, but I figured it was the best place to stop. Hopefully y'all had a fun and safe Halloween! And I hope you enjoyed this update! Until next time~!**


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